Shoup Airlines

This Week in Geek

I will freely admit that I am a geek. Not quite the eyes glazed over, all hours of the night Warcraft playing, Vulcan eared kid back in college that knew every Mortal Kombat combination possible that no matter how badly you cheated you still lost in less than a minute. That was my college roommate. Nor am I the geek that has to have the doesn’t matter what it does, nor how expensive it is, nor how rapidly it will become obsolete by it’s version 2.0, but just ’cause it’s cool, piece of latest gadgetry that has been unleashed on the market. I personally like this type of geek, I call him my product tester. I could go on but then I’d just be in my usual rambling mode and that’s no fun for anyone.

All geeks have several things in common. First, at a young age we were introduced to either Star Wars or Star Trek or both for that matter, which is the typical foundation for geekdom. I will never get over the vehement arguments that occur between the Lucas and Roddenberry factions. Witnessing one of those conflicts is hilarity with a capital ‘H!’ I fear what wars the next generation will spawn when The Lord of the Rings clans go up against the Harry Potters!

Second, all geeks have an innate ability with computers. In fact, if you want to have some fun at work, walk over to your IT, MIS, Tech, or whatever you call it department and state “Lightsabers or phasers, which one is better?” Let simmer for roughly five minutes, sit back, and enjoy. Caution: Only guaranteed to work with three or more geeks, one or two and you have the possibility of finding yourself on the wrong end of that loaded gun.

Lastly, and this is how you find the closet geeks, they have a subscription to Popular Science. I got addicted to the magazine when someone left a copy in the airplane one day. I warn you, it doesn’t take long to get hooked. All the latest gadgetry, stuff you didn’t know existed on the net, and articles that sometimes rival the truly geek question of whether androids dream of electric sheep. What else could a dork ask for!?

Finally, getting to the point of this dragging monologue, PopSci had a blurb on some new camping technology. North Face has a new tent that can survive 132 mph winds. Thank God The North Face is leading this front in camping technology! Alas, I remember my days in the Boy Scouts when you’d get that sinking feeling the winds might whip up into an F2 tornado category and take you or your friends with them. Scouts and campers, the world over, can now rest easy knowing their Spectrum will be able to withstand gale force winds that rip roofs off, knock box cars over, and send trailers into oblivion. Hey! Someone needs to introduce the North Face people to the Airstream people!

My only question is this: Who gets to be the unlucky chap that positions the tent into the wind if said winds come up?

26.2 Reasons

“So Mom, I’m going to run a marathon in October.”

“Oh yeah? How long is this one going to be?”

“Ehhh, this one? I didn’t know I had run one before. Sweet, no more training!”

I came to find out that my Mother thought any long run was defined as a marathon. Her definition of long not being very specific either. What’s funnier, the longest race I’ve been in is a 5k (3.2 miles for those still clinging to the English system). Yes Mom, all the marathons I’ve been in! So I told her of the masochistic ritual involving 26.2 miles that runners willingly put themselves through. This part will make my Mom happy: I’m finding that most people don’t really know how long a marathon is.

That’s right, boys and girls, it’s pseudo-history lesson time! The myth, because who in their right mind would have actually done this, takes place during the Persian Wars, circa 490 BC. The Greeks have just won the Battle of Marathon and Pheidippides (the original masochist) decides to run all the way to Athens, 26 miles away, to announce the victory. This is where most marathon runners end their story and sit back with that “I knew something you didn’t, Trivial Pursuit” smile on their face. What they fail to mention is that good ‘ol Pheidippides croaked right there on the spot after delivering the good news!

‘Wait! So what you’re telling me is that you are going to run some outrageous distance because some dude, that most likely didn’t exist, ran a distance that really doesn’t exist (Marathon to Athens is actually 21.4 miles) even though said fictional dude died after running the distance?’

‘Of course! Me, you, and the other voice in my head that has ignored us since the rabbit incident.’

‘Why?’

‘Why is he still ignoring us?’

‘NO! Why are WE running a marathon?’

‘I think George Leigh Mallory said it best when he stated “Because it is there.”‘

‘You mean the guy that died because it’s there?!’

‘Yeah, I figured we could keep the dead guy theme going.’

‘Okay, I’m going to ignore you now as well!’

Sorry folks, the voices in my head can get carried away at times. What? Oh, like you don’t have voices in your head. Uh-huh. But I digress. Reading up on this stuff is actually quite interesting, makes you cry out in agony, but nonetheless interesting. Take Paul Tergat for instance. This guy is the current world record holder with a time just under 2:05. That’s 4 minutes and 46 seconds per mile. PER MILE, PEOPLE, PER MILE!! Try running a 1 minute, 11 second quarter mile and let me know how you feel. Then picture doing it another 105 times!! Oh gee, what a surprise, Mr. Tergat is Kenyan!

No, I didn’t just decide to do this either. It’s been about four years in the making, festering in some dark, backwater, recess of my mind. I just thought I had it repressed well enough. I remember when I first started running, how much I hated it. Nothing has changed, I was just reflecting. However, now I have 26.2 reasons to absolutely loathe Pheidippides and his little white lie. Actually I’m only at 15 reasons right now, but just wait until October Mr. Pheidippides and I will take great pleasure (probably a little too much) in beating you down for each reason with my lifeless nubbins that used to be legs.

Best Line Heard All Week!!

“Dude, I’m sooo going to see The 40 Year Old Virgin just to see how Shoup will be in ten years!!”