Shoup Airlines

All Quiet on the Diablo Front?

After their failure at the Battle of Kitchen, the army of ants finally cut their losses and turned tail metasoma. I once again had my kitchen back and thought I had won the war! Every once in a while though, I still find a scout running around the backroom or on a counter top and quickly dispatch him before he can report back to the Hive. Makes me wonder how many scouts I have missed. Are they gathering intel for another major push on the house? I’m also convinced they have recently thrown in with a vicious little ally.

I spent the better part of the afternoon yesterday repairing sprinkler heads that were attacked in force. You think I’m joking. The sprinklers worked fine until four days ago, then all nine of them suddenly started acting screwy. Odd, I thought.

I pulled the first sprinkler apart thinking a little pebble or something had gotten into the head blocking the flow of water. It had happened before. Wrong! There was something blocking the flow alright…a frellin’ earwig had crawled down into the head, gotten itself stuck, and died. Took me a good ten minutes to back flush the stupid carcass out of the hole. That bugger had really wedged himself in there, JUST LIKE ALL EIGHT EARWIGS IN EVERY OTHER SPRINKLER HEAD!!

Honestly, has anyone else ever seen this much of a concerted effort from insects to take over a house? What does this crooked little house possess that they covet so much? How did the ants coerce the earwigs into suicide missions, or is this just accepted in their culture?

The little subversion op didn’t end there either! Removing each sprinkler, I’d find tons of little white eggs lining the entire ring where the sprinkler meets the water line. On top of THAT, working on the last head, one of those nasty little buggers had the cajones to come out of hiding and pinch me. Laugh it up, those little pincers really hurt! I had no remorse in smiting Mr. Hero from the battlefield.

But wait, it gets better! After repairing the sprinklers, I went out front to finish watering the lawn only to find a sizable unit of ants marching through the front door! The audacity!! Getting out the “liquid death,” I ended that platoon’s mission right there.

Am I insane to think that these two pests have banded together? An Axis of Annoyance? Is the Other Bug their secret weapon? Can I possibly broker a covenant with the spiders in time? Do I have too much time on my hands?