The Week in Rants

9.Dec.2005

I have never understood the sugar cookie. It is THE dullest cookie in the entire cookie catalogue! Every cookie has sugar in it! A cookie without sugar would be a…CRACKER! Yet they infiltrate our homes and bakeries, especially around the holiday season. What other cookie needs cosmetic surgery so people will eat them? That’s right, the cookie cutter exists for one reason only, the sugar cookie. Why else do people drown them in five pounds of icing and other accoutrements? Every holiday the sugar cookie has a new look in an attempt to get you to like it, like a desperate 8th grade girl!

I really hate all of the tv bandwagoning with “Best of…” lists, especially when they pick such a broad subject like Best songs of the 80′s or Top 100 Movies of All Time. Inevitably, the top five or ten picks will be recent productions or releases. Channel surfing, I came across “Top 101 SNL Moments” on E, a channel I NEVER watch, but thought might be pretty good just to see some of the more classic skits. Number one was “Wayne’s World”!! Wayne’s World!? Then I realized why I don’t watch that channel. A funny bit, I’ll give Myers that, but no one can tell me that John Belushi’s “Samurai” or Eddie Murphy’s “Buckwheat” were less funny than Wayne’s World. A travesty, I say! A rigged travesty! Otay? Otay!

Has anyone seen the latest King Kong tv spot that uses Coldplay’s “Fix You” for the background music? Are they REALLY trying to melodically illuminate that “delicate ape meets girl relationship” with such moving lyrics? That 60 ft., 10 ton gorilla and his blonde bombshell yet waifish girlfriend relationship? Uh-huh.

Warning: This last rant may ruin the film, Memoirs of a Geisha, if you are looking forward to seeing it.

Geisha: /gayshÉ™/ noun a Japanese hostess trained to entertain men with conversation, dance, and song.

Does anyone else find it funny that none of the main characters in the upcoming film are Japanese? In the slightest?! I’m just sayin’…

Buried in Latest Rant | 2 Village Idiots have spoken

2 Village Idiots have spoken

  1. Ok, love the rants, but I gotta call you out on the Geisha one. Ken Watanabe is Japanese. I think he might be a main character or maybe not.

    Blurted out by buzz – 9.Dec.2005

  2. No, you’re right. I always thought he was of more South Pacific descent, but he was born in Japan, and I was including him in my rant. You want to be my editor?

    Blurted out by Shoup – 9.Dec.2005

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