Shoup Airlines

The Wonder Bread Army

At first, I thought it was just a fluke in Basic, there never seemed to be any wheat bread and oodles of white bread just falling off the tables. I always wrote it off as just being at the back of the line during chow formations.

Then I came to Ft. Eustis and thought I would finally get some wheat bread. I did, nearly four months later!?! Everything you can think of, bagels, english muffins, deli breads, sandwich breads, etc., are made from white bread. And yes I know it’s a “great source of calcium,” but doesn’t wheat bread have a hundred more vitamins and is just plain healthier for you?

I’m convinced this white bread company (named Mary Jane, I kid you not) has a lock on all grains sold to the U.S. Army because not only can you never find wheat bread, but the white bread just proliferates the DFACs. It is literally stacked in piles five feet high all over the kitchens! Either that, or they’re a new form of tribble taking over the world by infiltrating the military first!

Oh man! I know I’ve lost it now, I’m referencing Star Trek!!

Things that make you say, ‘What the bloody hell!?’

I just read a story about a couple of streakers at a high school graduation, which drummed up a question I’ve pondered for some time now. Why is it that all streakers are men? I believe there needs to be some equal representation in that hobby, forthwith!

What To Do?

A very common question being asked these days as we near our graduation date is what I’m going to do when I get home. A valid question and one that I’d most likely ask anyone returning from some form of isolation. In most cases I think everyone would have an answer in the shape of a significant other, a favorite bar, or some creature comfort at home. A culmination of joy that would make the past few months not seem so bad. My answer of late? I have no clue?! And I’m pretty sure it has been bothering me a lot more than the question askers.

Nothing seemed to really scream out as something I have direly missed for the last six months. There isn’t a special someone to greet me, a favorite haunt to pass the time away, although don’t get me wrong, I WILL be drinking my fair share of adult beverages, or a specific creature comfort that I’m dying for. I found this depressing and hoped something would surface before I got back.

Then it hit me last night while we were griping about the DFAC (dining facility) we eat at and how having the schedule we have, we really do get screwed. The variety is always nil and they usually run out of stuff before half the group has even made it through. But I digress. I want a tuna sandwich! Plain and simple. A lot of tuna, a bit of mayo and some lettuce and tomato on wheat, or better yet potato bread! That is something I have completely forgotten about and not seen since I left in January.

I’m telling you, it’s all about the simple things in life.