Shoup Airlines

Lunch Conversations

Strohmeyer: I need a psycho-obsessive girl.

Shoup: Like an obsessive compulsive chick or a shrine building obsessive?

Strohmeyer: Definitely the shrine building type!

Shoup: Oh?

Strohmeyer: That way I don’t have to put any effort into a relationship. She’s just always there, waiting for me. I could do no wrong!

Shoup: The shrine and snips of hair everywhere wouldn’t bug you?

Strohmeyer: Sure, they’d take some getting used to, but they wouldn’t bother me. It’d be worth it just for the reason that if I wanted to go out with my buddies and have a beer I wouldn’t have to explain myself.

Shoup: You do realize this is the same type that would stalk you to the bar, have an argument with her split personality, because the shrine building types always have one or ten, realize she couldn’t stand sharing you with your friends and blow up everyone in the bar, right?

Strohmeyer: Damnit, Shoup!! You always have to ruin my ideas!! …hey, what were you saying about split personality chicks?

The Westrup Shotgun Incident

Due to popular demand and a complete memory gap of the offended we proudly present the Westrup Shotgun Incident a.k.a WuSI!

It’s a cold winter’s eve in Grand Forks all the way back in 1998. Connelly, myself and Scott Westrup are just exiting the Carmike 10 movie theater. I fail to remember the movie we’ve just seen, but that’s immaterial. A light snow has been falling for a good thirty minutes blanketing the ground and vehicles in that bed sheet layer of tranquility. Two of us trot across the parking lot wearing shorts in defiance.

That eerily deafening yet peaceful quality that snowfall brings is suddenly shattered by a giddy “SHOTGUN!” screamed by none other than Scott. We’ve never really applied the internationally accepted game of ‘shotgun’ so Connelly and I look at each other in a shared thought of ‘who really cares?!’ Especially since Connelly drove a minivan and there are only three of us.

It may have been the shorts, but in another moment of staunch defiance, I take off for the minivan and hop in the front (shotgun) seat disregarding all legally binding rules and observances of the aforementioned ‘shotgun!’ The combined look of horror and stupefiedness (yes, that’s a real word) on Scott’s face is alone worth the laugh but when he just stands there, arms crossed, in the falling snow demanding I follow the proper etiquette and protocol of a fair shotgun calling, it sky rockets into full bore hilarity. Plus, the look just makes me want to stay in the contended seat that much more.

At this point it becomes a stand off, but not a very advantageous one for Mr. Westrup as I sit in a minivan with the engine now running and the heater on. Yet he won’t budge and now both Connelly and myself are engaged in laughing our heads off.

Connelly takes it one step further and putting the car in drive, lurches forward, taunting Scott. He just stands there staring at the vacant spot we had just occupied. Of course this just fuels the hijinks that much more causing Connelly to pull out completely and keep going. Scott continues to just stand there, arms crossed, his look of pissed off-edness (no, that isn’t a real word) that just cracks everyone else up in full display, staring at an empty parking space. We’d never seen someone so adamant about the rules of shotgun.

We round the parking lot and Scott stands there still. I can’t remember who finally relents, but the drive home is filled with some of the headiest laughter ever and one very quiet, steaming individual.

Author’s note: Before all the officially sponsored Shotgun Professionals lampoon me and then burn my image in effigy I would like to say something. I have always, before and since, observed all shotgun rules regardless of absurdity or obscurity and if this action relegates me to the back seat for all eternity so be it. If I had the opportunity to repeat the evening, I’d do it all over, again and again and again. That look on his face was priceless!

Editor’s note: We are fully aware that the principal offender (Mr. Shoup) and abetting offender (Mr. Connelly) were complete jerks in this unfortunate episode. We would apologize for their actions, but if you had seen Mr. Westrup’s face you would have done the very same thing. Admit it!

The Bitch is Back!

We’re one week away from our FTX (Field Training Exercise) and that means getting issued our favorite piece of equipment again. Yup, the good ol’ reliable M16! I was just SO excited to receive her into my arms and wonder yet again why we have to lug them around the hangar. ‘Cause it just has soo much to do with fixing a helicopter, you know.

The best part is getting reacquainted with that awkward dance in bed, because you can never be more than an arm’s length from the rifle at all times. And I mean AT ALL TIMES!!!!

Next week should be fun as we ruck back out into the boonies and play war games. I’ll be curious to qualify with an M16 A1. Colt seems to know how to make them work good and last a long time. These are the relics left over from Vietnam! Plus I should finally have some good stories to put on here, if I get the chance. Not that anyone reads them of course…