Shoup Airlines

Bear Grylls Is A Pussy

I remember when Man vs. Wild first began its promos I thought it might be a cool show watching some guy get stuck in bad situations and teach you cool tricks on how to survive. I was always fascinated by this stuff in Scouts and had a lot of fun getting to try them in “simulations.” Then SERE came along and I got to do it for real. And I mean really for real. Really. Yes, there are stories coming. I’m just still writing them, but don’t make me digress from my original rant, damnit!

When the show finally aired, I was more than perturbed to find that everyone’s favorite “survivalist” was that much more the sensationalist. Don’t get me wrong, the man has some impressive credits: climbed Mt. Everest, was SAS and I’ve been told completed the Army’s Ranger course but I can’t verify that. So why is it that he has to go in to each episode acting like his very life depends on the elephant shit that he’s going to drink?

There are at least five more stomach-able ways you can get water. Yes, even in the Sahara.

I don’t watch the show much, but apparently Grylls did an episode about surviving on volcanic land which they taped in Hawaii. A family friend was the crew’s escort on the lava fields and couldn’t believe her eyes when they started sticking flares in the lava pits because there wasn’t enough smoke! But then I don’t really need to prove my point with second hand information, I have this:

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  Who’s going to be the 400th village idiot?