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Alien vs. Predator: Requiem

Don’t judge. Just because you and I both knew this was going to be a horrible movie doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to see it. Especially when you find yourself in southern Alabama with nothing better to do on a Saturday night and it’s playing at the cheap theater. I don’t care what you heard about some of us planning ahead of time to see this. It’s all hearsay!

I grew up on the ass kickery of Ripley and one of the baddest looking aliens in the business so yes, I have a soft spot for face huggers and stomach busters. Come on, they bleed acid! How much cooler can it get!?

Then you have another bad ass alien from the 80′s celluloid that hunts humans for the challenge, mind you he has honor, he’ll only kill you if you’re holding a weapon.

And then you tell me you’re going to pit these aliens against each other in an all out brawl? NO. WAY.

It had so much potential and if someone like an up and coming James Cameron who made Aliens had gotten a hold of this they could have done so much more with it. Instead, we got the cannon fodder that was the first Alien vs. Predator and now this drivel. Something you already know is going to suck but kind of want to see just to reminisce the halcyon days of good sci-fi action.

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem really has nothing to do with the first AvP and I really wish didn’t have anything to do with the two original series at all. A Predator is in orbit around Earth, presumably for a hunt but also has face huggers on board for some unexplained reason. One escapes, incubates the Predator and then causes the spaceship to crash in rural Colorado. Of course then the rest escape and begin taking over the town. Another Predator is dispatched to clean up the mess and some semblance of bad assery is finally shown but then quickly disappears. All hell breaks loose and then all hell is contained in way too easy a manner.

The storyline is quite sporadic with several subplots wandering in different directions and some events never really even being explained. It felt like the director had ADD and the producer wore one of those key chains on his belt that kept distracting the director.

Needless to say, the movie was pure crap but the nine year old geek inside of me still smirked a couple times.

In a movie theater, everyone can hear you laugh.