We went out for a goggle flight a couple nights ago and my instructor, never one for the milk runs, wanted me to run us out through Victorville and over into Salton Sea.  It was a nice night to fly: smooth, clear, quiet and zero moon illumination.  Nada, zip, zilch.  This meant absolutely no ambient light in any direction for a good ten miles around Salton Sea.

That just happens to be an unlit airport.

And really more a dirt strip than an airport.

Surrounded by other dirt that happens to be the same color.

This means you have absolutely no contrast, which means very little to no depth perception.  Now go try and land there, never mind simply finding the place.  What’s that, I forgot to mention that because it’s a dirt strip you get all the dust you’ve ever wanted and then some, kicked up by a 22,000 lb contraption that creates its very own tornado?  Yeah, about that.  Just keep your eye on the aircraft that’s a disc and a half in front of you while you’re enveloped in the cloud.

Click here to view the embedded video.

You carrier jockeys can come talk to me when you land on that postage stamp at night with no lights.  In formation.

To make matters worse, Los Al has been flying its collective tail off as more people are returning from flight school and some of these pilots actually like flying on a regular basis. Shocking, I know! It doesn’t help that the field is also short a large number of mechanics and a lot of the birds are down for pre-deployment modifications. Mixing those numbers together created a total of ONE flyable Blackhawk for the week. That’s out of 16. Because that’s not enough Shafty factor, as most of you know, July is my birth month PLUS it’s the second to last week of July PLUS I was scheduled to leave as soon as the eval was finished for Havasu and then leave from there for a 6 week jaunt in ‘Bama. Ah, that’s more like it.

I felt like Drago walking around on Monday reminding people that if they broke the Hawk, I’d break them. Tuesday arrived and miraculously the Hawk was chugging right along. I began thinking I might pull this one out smoothly. Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll learn either. When the crew arrived that was to fly the Hawk after my eval, I clued into the fact that something might be amiss since I was still waiting for my instrument evaluator (IE). One “pleasant” phone call later and we had remedied the situation. He had canceled the flight last week and they had forgotten to take it off the schedule. Or let me know.

Now throw into the mix that IE’s are not a dime a dozen or readily available in a Guard unit along with the fact that the flight schedule is set in concrete a week out and Shafty is winking at me. We scramble to find another IE and not only somehow do that but bump an understanding pilot on the afternoon schedule for the very next day (my birthday). Take that, Shafty!

I proceed home and since I’m planning to leave for 7 weeks the next day, I pack. Also being a bit perturbed and pre-birthday-ish I have a glass of wine or 4. The next morning I’m rudely awakened by a phone call long before I’m supposed to get up. The crew that was to fly the Hawk after my eval? Yep, they broke it. They need me to go in early and help test fly the bird after it’s fixed to bring it back up to flight status. Guess Shafty didn’t like the wink. For those counting, don’t worry, I was outside my 12 hours but that doesn’t mean I was happy.

I figure by completing the test flight we can have the Hawk up early which means I can get the eval knocked out earlier and be on the road for Havasu sooner. Sound reasoning, right? Sure enough, the bird is ready to go by 10. The IE? He wants to have his lunch and will be there at the scheduled time of 12:30. Ok, no problem, I’ll just have everything ready to go so he can just hop in and we’ll go. I failed to remember this particular IE likes to talk. To anyone. About anything. He arrived at Flight Ops around 12:15, I finally dragged him to the aircraft at 1:00. I finally got him IN the aircraft at 1:30 because he wanted to talk. We got off the ground at 2:00 because he wanted to talk. It took me thirty minutes to complete the approaches required for the eval, he talked the whole time. We landed so I could get out and the understanding pilot from earlier could fly the rest of his period. I almost couldn’t get out of the aircraft because the IE wanted to keep talking.

I was finally free of my APART requirements and headed for Havasu. Schweet! By the way, I just left my sunglasses in the aircraft that is lurching off the ground. Five bucks says the IE is talking to them right now.

You’d think the story ended there. If only…

I head home and frantically load the car with everything I’ll need for 7 weeks hoping I’ll be able to beat the afternoon traffic. I’m finally on the road at 3:30. Can you see where this is going? Ha! You’re wrong. Believe it or not, the 91 traffic is pretty light. Woohoo!  I’m home fr…ah crap what’s this?! Ok, maybe you’re right. I hate you! It takes me 2 hours to get through the Cajon Pass! I finally peel myself out of the car at 9:30 in Havasu where it’s still 103. Sadly, this is still more appealing than the weather that awaits me in ‘Bama.

Think the story ends there? Nope

I unpack the car and finally begin to relax but there is something just starting to itch in the back of my head. I can’t quite place it because I’m tired, mayb…Oh Come On! You HAVE to be kidding me!

My carry on bag is still sitting on the bed with my uniforms. In Buena Park.

-sigh-

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

That crowd was deafening! But then they hadn’t seen the Dodgers hat yet.

Then tomorrow I’ll be doing the same thing for the base’s Independence Day celebration at sunset.  So if you’re sitting there in your drunken stupor tomorrow and wondering why a giant helicopter is circling overhead, wave back.

And yet I still have no clue when my parole date might be.  Stay tuned for further developments.

In the dark, under NVGs.

While it was raining.

With winds off the port bow gusting to 45 knots and swells at 15 to 20 feet.

In the sim.

But the pit stains and frustration were ALL TOO REAL!

As promised, the rest of the photos from the formation flight, and then some, are up over here.