Shoup Airlines

Seven, the new Eight!

After the massacre of Sprinkler #4, the wigs have been quiet of late, almost too quiet at times. I was almost prepared to find the worst coming back from the Thanksgiving break, but found nothing. That only worried me more. Although I wonder if the now sterilized syphon valves were their breeding grounds. Regardless, both the ants and wigs have been nothing short of non-existent around El Diablo recently.

As the weather gets cooler, I have noticed more and more spiders finding their way into the house. One of those common jumping spiders found around here was interesting to watch. He would come out and greet me every morning from his perch on top of a model airplane on my desk. Always curious, but never aggressive, he could really move. I saw him clear a good 13 to 14 inches in a single jump! Anyway, a few days passed and he was nowhere to be found. I figured he had moved on or died, then he reappeared yesterday morning. Something looked odd, he wasn’t moving like his usual lithe self. Then it hit me, he was missing a leg!! I had to count again because I didn’t believe it either, but sure enough, he was missing a leg. Today, I found him lying dead at the base of the airplane and swept him into the waste basket without another thought…

That is until fixing dinner this evening. I noticed a house spider sitting on the wall above the stove and figured I would have to usher him out of the kitchen. Apparently he came to the same realization and started moving up the wall…awkwardly. I found that a bit odd, then he paused, and on a whim I decided to count his legs. The frellin’ thing had SEVEN legs! SEVEN!?

I see no way that these two separate events can be coincidental. Have the wigs and ants resorted to Yakuza like tactics in their campaign? Or is this yet another nifty little trick the Other Bug can do? Are you scratching your head in bewilderment because you still visit this blog?

Sprinkler #4

The bugs, realizing that winter is encroaching, once again pushed for backyard dominance. The earwigs launched another sabotage mission on the sprinklers, partially succeeding Friday. I think I caught them in the act as they were only able to take down three heads. What I found disconcerting though was the fact that the earwigs had come UP through the water line this time. How? How in the world could they have gotten into a closed water system? And if so, that means they’re in the entire house’s water system!!

After clearing the battlefield, I went about repairing the sprinklers and trying to find how they were getting into the system. They finally drew blood as I attempted to unscrew a head and the wrench slipped causing me to scrape my knuckle across the concrete. Took a big chunk of skin off too. On top of that, the earwigs rendered two sprinklers irreparable. They won that battle.

Today, I came back bandaged and ready for Armageddon. Replacing the two sprinklers, I went to test the system only to find that the wigs had clogged the repaired sprinkler again. I got Armageddon. Not only were the ants waiting for me, but it looks like they may have made another alliance…with a Luftwaffe! I don’t know for sure only because there were no acts of aggression toward me. It seemed the wasps were sizing their adversary up, buzzing in from afar and running high altitude reconnaissance.

Even so, the air wing distraction allowed a platoon of ants to swarm the sprinkler head. A futile attempt at best, but it made me realize this particular sprinkler may be important to them. Unscrewing the head, I found four, COUNT THEM, four earwigs ambushing me from the water line. One even got a pinch off, but my wrench finished him off in gory fashion (I think it had a vendetta for Friday’s atrocities). A quick order of feet finished the rest of the squad off. Now I know #4 is vital, but why?

As I finished clearing the suicide earwig from the sprinkler head, I caught some movement in the corner of my eye. By a freak stroke of luck I saw an earwig crawling from one of the anti-syphon valves for the sprinkler system and that’s when it donned on me. Running over to the valves, I unscrewed all three valves to find a mouse spider trying valiantly to stave off the wigs in one valve, their numbers just too many for him. The other two valves were entrenched with earwigs. I called in for the kill-o-matic spray and leveled the area. There’s enough pesticide in the anti-syphon valve area now to keep away small birds! I purged the system again once more for good measure and found TEN more earwigs in the line waiting to block sprinkler heads.

Thus ended the day’s battle for Sprinkler #4. Wet and battle weary, I was left with several thoughts. Why #4 is so important, I still don’t know. Recon shows the air force’s nest nearby, but not close enough to warrant such sacrifice. An ant hive may be closer and fearful of flooding, that would explain the quick arrival of the ant platoon. I just don’t know. I do know there were tens left dead today, and a patch of land left uninhabitable for all bugs. When will the madness stop? War is hell!

I return to base disgusted, frustrated, and with a truly morbid idea working it’s way to the surface. Would it be wise, nay, humane to unleash the ultimate weapon? I fear she would cause exceedingly too much devastation, but would it shock insect-kind enough to give up their mad pursuits?

All Quiet on the Diablo Front?

After their failure at the Battle of Kitchen, the army of ants finally cut their losses and turned tail metasoma. I once again had my kitchen back and thought I had won the war! Every once in a while though, I still find a scout running around the backroom or on a counter top and quickly dispatch him before he can report back to the Hive. Makes me wonder how many scouts I have missed. Are they gathering intel for another major push on the house? I’m also convinced they have recently thrown in with a vicious little ally.

I spent the better part of the afternoon yesterday repairing sprinkler heads that were attacked in force. You think I’m joking. The sprinklers worked fine until four days ago, then all nine of them suddenly started acting screwy. Odd, I thought.

I pulled the first sprinkler apart thinking a little pebble or something had gotten into the head blocking the flow of water. It had happened before. Wrong! There was something blocking the flow alright…a frellin’ earwig had crawled down into the head, gotten itself stuck, and died. Took me a good ten minutes to back flush the stupid carcass out of the hole. That bugger had really wedged himself in there, JUST LIKE ALL EIGHT EARWIGS IN EVERY OTHER SPRINKLER HEAD!!

Honestly, has anyone else ever seen this much of a concerted effort from insects to take over a house? What does this crooked little house possess that they covet so much? How did the ants coerce the earwigs into suicide missions, or is this just accepted in their culture?

The little subversion op didn’t end there either! Removing each sprinkler, I’d find tons of little white eggs lining the entire ring where the sprinkler meets the water line. On top of THAT, working on the last head, one of those nasty little buggers had the cajones to come out of hiding and pinch me. Laugh it up, those little pincers really hurt! I had no remorse in smiting Mr. Hero from the battlefield.

But wait, it gets better! After repairing the sprinklers, I went out front to finish watering the lawn only to find a sizable unit of ants marching through the front door! The audacity!! Getting out the “liquid death,” I ended that platoon’s mission right there.

Am I insane to think that these two pests have banded together? An Axis of Annoyance? Is the Other Bug their secret weapon? Can I possibly broker a covenant with the spiders in time? Do I have too much time on my hands?