Everyone’s Inner Eight Year Old Either Just Grinned Or Died A Little Inside
11.Jan.2010Which one are you?
I wasn’t the biggest A-Team fan but it idled away the hours. Sometimes. I’m not grinning over Murdock (which you shouldn’t be surprised I have an affinity for), but there wasn’t much of him there so the jury is still partially out. The one I feared the most though, ol’ Liam, seems to have pulled Hannibal off pretty damn well.
Buried in Latest Rant, Movie Review | 2 Village Idiots have spokenWhat Goes Around
8.Sep.2009I was going to be a smart ass and mention that there aren’t much prettier sights than Ft. Rucker in my rear view mirror.
But I think I can already see Mother Rucker through the front windshield!
Buried in Bama, Latest Rant, The Guard | You know you want to say somethingThe Story About When They Finally Gave Me One Of Those Fancy Jackets!
23.Jul.2009Some background first. As a guard pilot you’re required to meet certain annual minimums by your birth month. If you don’t meet these mins, it creates a lot of paperwork, gets a lot of people riled up and doesn’t make you look very good. Finishing flight school so recently the time requirements were prorated, but there are several flight evaluations or check rides that I had to complete. One could argue that I was improperly informed of what was required of me while another could argue that it’s still my responsibility to know all that’s required of me. In fact, word on the street is that there are some still arguing both sides heatedly. The bottom line is that I had completed everything I thought I needed. Thought being the key word there. Enter the instrument eval.
To make matters worse, Los Al has been flying its collective tail off as more people are returning from flight school and some of these pilots actually like flying on a regular basis. Shocking, I know! It doesn’t help that the field is also short a large number of mechanics and a lot of the birds are down for pre-deployment modifications. Mixing those numbers together created a total of ONE flyable Blackhawk for the week. That’s out of 16. Because that’s not enough Shafty factor, as most of you know, July is my birth month PLUS it’s the second to last week of July PLUS I was scheduled to leave as soon as the eval was finished for Havasu and then leave from there for a 6 week jaunt in ‘Bama. Ah, that’s more like it.
I felt like Drago walking around on Monday reminding people that if they broke the Hawk, I’d break them. Tuesday arrived and miraculously the Hawk was chugging right along. I began thinking I might pull this one out smoothly. Yeah, I don’t know when I’ll learn either. When the crew arrived that was to fly the Hawk after my eval, I clued into the fact that something might be amiss since I was still waiting for my instrument evaluator (IE). One “pleasant” phone call later and we had remedied the situation. He had canceled the flight last week and they had forgotten to take it off the schedule. Or let me know.
Now throw into the mix that IE’s are not a dime a dozen or readily available in a Guard unit along with the fact that the flight schedule is set in concrete a week out and Shafty is winking at me. We scramble to find another IE and not only somehow do that but bump an understanding pilot on the afternoon schedule for the very next day (my birthday). Take that, Shafty!
I proceed home and since I’m planning to leave for 7 weeks the next day, I pack. Also being a bit perturbed and pre-birthday-ish I have a glass of wine or 4. The next morning I’m rudely awakened by a phone call long before I’m supposed to get up. The crew that was to fly the Hawk after my eval? Yep, they broke it. They need me to go in early and help test fly the bird after it’s fixed to bring it back up to flight status. Guess Shafty didn’t like the wink. For those counting, don’t worry, I was outside my 12 hours but that doesn’t mean I was happy.
I figure by completing the test flight we can have the Hawk up early which means I can get the eval knocked out earlier and be on the road for Havasu sooner. Sound reasoning, right? Sure enough, the bird is ready to go by 10. The IE? He wants to have his lunch and will be there at the scheduled time of 12:30. Ok, no problem, I’ll just have everything ready to go so he can just hop in and we’ll go. I failed to remember this particular IE likes to talk. To anyone. About anything. He arrived at Flight Ops around 12:15, I finally dragged him to the aircraft at 1:00. I finally got him IN the aircraft at 1:30 because he wanted to talk. We got off the ground at 2:00 because he wanted to talk. It took me thirty minutes to complete the approaches required for the eval, he talked the whole time. We landed so I could get out and the understanding pilot from earlier could fly the rest of his period. I almost couldn’t get out of the aircraft because the IE wanted to keep talking.
I was finally free of my APART requirements and headed for Havasu. Schweet! By the way, I just left my sunglasses in the aircraft that is lurching off the ground. Five bucks says the IE is talking to them right now.
You’d think the story ended there. If only…
I head home and frantically load the car with everything I’ll need for 7 weeks hoping I’ll be able to beat the afternoon traffic. I’m finally on the road at 3:30. Can you see where this is going? Ha! You’re wrong. Believe it or not, the 91 traffic is pretty light. Woohoo! I’m home fr…ah crap what’s this?! Ok, maybe you’re right. I hate you! It takes me 2 hours to get through the Cajon Pass! I finally peel myself out of the car at 9:30 in Havasu where it’s still 103. Sadly, this is still more appealing than the weather that awaits me in ‘Bama.
Think the story ends there? Nope
I unpack the car and finally begin to relax but there is something just starting to itch in the back of my head. I can’t quite place it because I’m tired, mayb…Oh Come On! You HAVE to be kidding me!
My carry on bag is still sitting on the bed with my uniforms. In Buena Park.
-sigh-
Buried in Aviation, Bama, Latest Rant, The Guard | 3 Village Idiots have spoken



