Shoup Airlines

Brown Out

They finally found something that makes me think twice.

We went out for a goggle flight a couple nights ago and my instructor, never one for the milk runs, wanted me to run us out through Victorville and over into Salton Sea.  It was a nice night to fly: smooth, clear, quiet and zero moon illumination.  Nada, zip, zilch.  This meant absolutely no ambient light in any direction for a good ten miles around Salton Sea.

That just happens to be an unlit airport.

And really more a dirt strip than an airport.

Surrounded by other dirt that happens to be the same color.

This means you have absolutely no contrast, which means very little to no depth perception.  Now go try and land there, never mind simply finding the place.  What’s that, I forgot to mention that because it’s a dirt strip you get all the dust you’ve ever wanted and then some, kicked up by a 22,000 lb contraption that creates its very own tornado?  Yeah, about that.  Just keep your eye on the aircraft that’s a disc and a half in front of you while you’re enveloped in the cloud.

You carrier jockeys can come talk to me when you land on that postage stamp at night with no lights.  In formation.

I Have Met The Enemy…

…and she is about 5′ 7″ of pure sarcasm just itching to be aimed point blank at the slightest slip you make.

There was a Christmas gift transaction at work in which I had to play the middleman and transfer funds between people.  When the total charge came through, I thought I’d be cute and demand the total sum be deposited in unmarked ones and fives.  The second after I hit send on that text, my brain immediately reeled with the vision of her sitting there laughing maniacally and avowing that “it was on like Donkey Kong” to no one in particular.  Quickly running through a damage control assessment I realized it was the day before New Years and there was no way she’d be able to get to a bank easily enough before she saw me today.

My assessment skills in damage control suck.  Having completely forgotten about the debacle this morning, she walks into the office and tosses a brown paper bag in my lap.  Sure enough, in the bag is a neatly stacked bundle of ones and fives totaling $548.  At least I hope there’s $548 there, I can’t count higher than 312.

Well played, madam.

What Goes Around

I was going to be a smart ass and mention that there aren’t much prettier sights than Ft. Rucker in my rear view mirror.

But I think I can already see Mother Rucker through the front windshield!